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"Why are you still talking to me when Koopa Inc. is down 20 points! Don't you know how to panic?"


Businessbro

Webster, the Business Bro

Webster is a Paper Mario fancharacter created by MSPA user Unclever title.

He is a Business Bro of the Mushroom Kingdom who invests in nearly everything he can.  Like Hammer Bros, Fire Bros, and Boomerang Bros, Business Bros have a good throwing arm and in a pinch can throw a seemingly unending supply of projectiles at enemies. 

Humor Profile
Websterrecipe

"There's nothing quite like that new business smell."

Edit

  • 20% Shine
    • + Optimism, Joy
    • - Gullibility
  • 15% Logos
    • + Reasoning
    • - Obsession
  • 30% Ardent
    • + Love, Anger, Zeal
    • - Infatuation, Irritation
  • 35% Sanguine
    • + Moxie, Balance
    • - Fool-Hardiness, Rose-Colored Glasses

Distinguishing FeaturesEdit

  • Black shell
  • Grey suit, sky blue tie
  • Silver wristwatch
  • And most importantly: A black trilby with a white stripe

AddictionsEdit

  • Venture Capitalism
  • Gambling (former)

Personality and InterestEdit

Webster is a hard working contributor/meddler to Mushroom Kingdom's economy. 

He shoulders the difficult and risky privilege of working within the Mushroom Kingdom stock exchange doing his best to make multiple small fortunes so he can invest them in increasingly risky avenues of finance.  In fact he'll invest in just about anything so long as it's legal and has a reasonably sound five to ten year plan.  His broad investment acceptance policy ensures that his surplusses never last forever but a natural debt trading savvy keeps him from staying in the red for very long.

Webster has an intense love for money.  He's had dreams of "making it big" and "striking it rich" as far back as he can remember.  No matter how much money he makes he feels he can always make more.  No matter how much he loses he's still willing to take risks in getting it back.   In fact he's more often than not willing to risk everything in the pursuit of financial gain including his friendships, relationships, even his money.

In addition to investing money he invests his emotions into his financial endeavors.  His mood can be predicted easily by looking at the current average stock price of his investments.  When things are going well he is upbeat and happy, a joy to be around.  But when his investments fall or fail he can get very stressed out and angry, liable to throw random things on his desk at people who annoy him.

Though truth be told it's not the money itself that makes him feel this way it's that his heart is full of passion up to his eyeballs, literally (check the chart above), and he's always had an adventurous soul.  As a result he's a huge sucker for romance movies and adventure films and all sorts of combinations in between.  With all that passion burning inside him it naturally has to come out somewhere.  Having never had anyone in his life to focus that passion on he set his sights on money with vast riches as his goal.  Being an optomistic fellow lacking in proper foresight he turned started out gambling and soon became quite addicted.  The full story of how he turned to Venture capitalism is shown in his background, below.

If the object of Webster's affections were to ever change it could potentially cause quite a personal schism but you could be sure that he'd risk everything to chase that new dream, whatever or whoever it is, to whatever end it takes him.

BackgroundEdit

In his youth he had a gambling problem that kept him in perpetual debt.  He would switch from "system" to "system" always trying to beat the house and win big.  After a particularly rough all-nighter or nothing but losses he tripped on a step bumped into a passing waitress getting hot coffee spilled down into his shell when he was just about to regain his footing slipped on a wet patch of the floor and cracked his shell.

A passing Laywer noticed the whole scene, noted the lack of a wet floor sign and offered to help Webster in a lawsuit.  With the first bit of luck that month Webster won 4000 coins for damages and suffering.  While 3500 of those winnings went straight to medical bills, legal fees and loan payments Webster gained 500 coins and a new outlook on life.

He never played financial games based on pure luck again.  Instead he decided to play financial games based on luck, interest rates, consumerism, political ties and trade, and the whims of all the citizens of the developed world, or in other words economics.

In games of chance, he found that no systems worked.  The law of averages would catch up too fast but in the game of economicas there's a plethora of systems that actually work, well, at least for some of the time.

His first investment was buying stock in the law firm that won him his first step out of debt. After a few years of decent growth he sold all his shares to make tuition payments to Business Bros. school where he did very well.  Upon graduation he was hired as a stock broker for the Mushroom Kingdom Royal bank.  Eventually his heart grew restless and he left his steady job for the adventurous life of a freelance investment broker.

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